Ahmed's Nuts

Ahmed was a little miffed. If this was paradise why was he chained to a rock? He could see the seventy two virgins lining up but some of them had babies so he felt he was being ripped off with single mothers. There where also some weird dudes who appeared to have come, perhaps as paying guests, just to watch. The worst thing of all was the first virgin was a vulture that picked at his nuts causing his tumescence to quickly subside. Oh why had he joined the Taliban?