Jane Austen Out Takes 2 (Kate Warren's version)

 Jane's editor insisted she cut this bit too
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Sister Alice

Sister Alice was a very conservative young nun who would sleep fully dressed for fear of sleepwalking. One night though, she came frighteningly close to wearing a mini. 

Sex And Violence in the Seedy World of Pumpkin Porn.

Patty had a passion for pumpkins. 

When young men came a courtin' they didn't stand a chance. 

Patty was a pumpkin pimp. The pumpkins made her rich by being really disgusting!