Professor Goldberg in Concert

The professor was ten minutes into the concert before he noticed his students had stapled a live kitten and mouse upside down inside the piano lid.

Last Words

After throwing the grenade the last thing we heard Fritz yell was "fetch". 

Rover gets Serious

Rover had had enough. The neighbor's cat just had to go.

June 1944

It was a perfect balmy night in mid June '44. We'd just completed our fifty fifth mission, miraculously without a scratch, and my boy's were jubilant with the memory of yet another triumphant mission. Then, out of nowhere, the unexpected happened...

Mortimer.

 Flight 437 violated the most important rule of aviation: never fly past Mortimer before he has his first cup of coffee.
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Unfortunate Error

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   Deidre felt the fault was in the sign's wording, "45 degree parking, nose to curb".

                                                     (Simon Whittaker )

Unwelcome Attention

More Of Greg's relationship Advice

Remember, the woman you chose must be well presented. One day she's going to meet your mother. 

Don't Upset The Big Guy.

"Well children," said nanny with a smile, "When it's raining it means that you've upset God and made him cry. When it's windy, it means you've been so bad he's sent a huge scary bird and it's sitting on the Empire State Building flapping it's wings, and it's going to blow us away, and we're all going to die terrible deaths!"                                  
"Is that all!" Said young Jerry, brave as can be. 
Suddenly, a giant, white, oldsmobile-sized, liquid bird turd, landed on Jerry's head. 


(Last sentence added by Aluminum Foil Hat)

The All New Smell-o-Round

Introducing the new "Smell-o-round" e-reader from Simon and Schuester. Engage the senses  as you read the classics. Life's too short to not smell the roses! (From an idea from my friend Aluminum Foil Hat)http://aluminumfoilhatsociety.com/

Debbie Does Ducks

I friend of mine came up with this. I'm not sure I should name her though.