Grant Hayes Uncommon History

Vernon Leadbeater's patented ABDOMINA Sole Stitcher (ASS). Leadbeater's ingenuity turned gastro-intestinal infection to good use, harnessing gut spasms to power a loom that could stitch as many as 40 boot soles per hour. The key component of the device was an antimony disc charged with heptic orthophranes. The military applications of the ABDOMINA were clearly evident, but a lucrative contract with the US Army was compromised when the Bolivian plantation whence Leadbeater sourced his orthophranes was destroyed in the Guano War (1879-83). Leadbeater was unable to obtain orthophranes of the required purity from elsewhere, and his army contract foundered amid a storm of recrimination. Leadbeater died a year later, a broken man in Hoboken NJ. 

(by the one and only Grant Hayes)

Grant Hayes On Ancient China

    Tathagata Buddha, the Farter Buddha, said: "With our farts we make the world!" Pictured is an excerpt from the classic Wi-Pu-Bang (Dung Dynasty). Here we see Bum Wind masters demonstrating Rat-Fart, Dead-Tree-Fart, and the very rarely attained Old-Man-Fart.

It is said of the Bum Wind master Pu-Wei that with only five grains of rice for fuel, he could fart out a seven-tiered iron pagoda. In the time it took for the shrine-bell to toll once and fade to silence, Master Pu-Wei would then emit the shapeless Dragon-Fart, which would sweep away the pagoda in an instant, leaving only five grains of rice. In this way, Pu-Wei showed that all things are a passing wind...

Excellent caption from Grant Hayes

A Snippet Of History From Me And My Friend Grant Hayes

Until relatively recent times, it was still widely believed in parts of central Europe that trepanning could cure lycanthropy. In this remarkable photograph, celebrated trepanner "Doctor" Laszlo Sczitz applies his awl to the head of the so-called Szendrő Dog-man, whose subsequent return to full humanity resulted in the loss of his livelihood as a sideshow attraction. Named Laszlo after his benefactor, the erstwhile Dog-man was reduced to vagrancy and alcoholism.

Desperate to return to his former glory as a famous public curiosity Lazlo was to undergo the first ever attempt to reassign gender in a rather clumsy operation again performed by Dr Sczitz. He made many appearances as a bearded Lady throughout Europe but was unable to rise to his former glory and was said to mutter in despair that he had been effectively "depinnacled".  Strangely, his "former glory" remained with him at all times in the form of his severed penis, lovingly preserved in a jar of formalin and, even stranger, permanently erect. With time he began to realize it was this gruesome artifact that was drawing the crowds and not him at all and, as he refused to be parted from it for even a moment, he fell increasingly into despondency at being thusly upstaged.  Things came to a head when his Lesbian Lover, Countess Erzsebet Bathory, discovered the monstrosity beneath the pillow during their lovemaking and threw him
bodily from the window of her Dacha into a conveniently placed snow drift. He disappeared around 1956; rumour has it 
 he threw himself under a Soviet tank during the Hungarian  uprising though his famous penis has never been found....