Unsafe Sex In The Olden Days

"You didn't wear a condom." 

Meanwhile, At The Los Alamos Condom Testing Facility.

"Hmmmm. I think we need to use more KY Jelly..." 

Being Oversized Sucks

"Can you take me up to the pharmacy level?" said Robert shyly, "Those extra large condoms they sold me didn't fit."
"I'm sorry to hear that sir." Said the lift operator, "You need to get them tailor made then. I'll take you to the tailor on level six."