Unkind Encounters

"OMG! YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUTA ME," said Phillis, scattering cards far and wide, "And must you play that wretched horn night and day? These earplugs I must wear are most unbecoming!"
"Forgive me my child," said Chopin's ghost patting Phillis on the back by way of reassurance.
"Grandma says if your so damn horny you probably want my pussy, so here it is!"
"Alas my child, t'was pussy of another kind that led me down this tormented path," came the remorseful tone, "The pussy of a girl called George......What kind of benevolent God condemns a musician of my exalted esteem, to haunt the cold and musty halls of eternity with nothing but a mournful honker as a friend? If you want to help, please, please, PLEASE buy me a piano!"
"GET STUFFED!" replied Phillis, perhaps unwisely.