A Snippet Of History From Me And My Friend Grant Hayes

Until relatively recent times, it was still widely believed in parts of central Europe that trepanning could cure lycanthropy. In this remarkable photograph, celebrated trepanner "Doctor" Laszlo Sczitz applies his awl to the head of the so-called Szendrő Dog-man, whose subsequent return to full humanity resulted in the loss of his livelihood as a sideshow attraction. Named Laszlo after his benefactor, the erstwhile Dog-man was reduced to vagrancy and alcoholism.

Desperate to return to his former glory as a famous public curiosity Lazlo was to undergo the first ever attempt to reassign gender in a rather clumsy operation again performed by Dr Sczitz. He made many appearances as a bearded Lady throughout Europe but was unable to rise to his former glory and was said to mutter in despair that he had been effectively "depinnacled".  Strangely, his "former glory" remained with him at all times in the form of his severed penis, lovingly preserved in a jar of formalin and, even stranger, permanently erect. With time he began to realize it was this gruesome artifact that was drawing the crowds and not him at all and, as he refused to be parted from it for even a moment, he fell increasingly into despondency at being thusly upstaged.  Things came to a head when his Lesbian Lover, Countess Erzsebet Bathory, discovered the monstrosity beneath the pillow during their lovemaking and threw him
bodily from the window of her Dacha into a conveniently placed snow drift. He disappeared around 1956; rumour has it 
 he threw himself under a Soviet tank during the Hungarian  uprising though his famous penis has never been found.... 

Grant Hayes' Effort

The famously diminutive Signore Cornetto with his culinary invention, the "Cornetto". Shortly after this photograph was taken, Cornetto was found dead in Naploli, oozing onto a hot footpath. It was rumoured that he had been murdered on the orders of his business rival Ippolito Gelato, though it was never proven. It is said that Gelato bought the silence of the carabinieri with his peerless lemon sorbet. 

Old Time Hero of the chattering Classes

Cone-man, the librarian. 

Indignant Tree Post

"Excuse me madam." Said Arthur, pretending to be a talking tree and freaking Phyllis out," A short, bald man just peed there, and, I'm sorry to inform you, you're standing in it. Yes, men pee on us! It's just another indignity us poor trees must suffer. I'm sure they only do it because we're immobile and they take pleasure in reminding us."                                                                        
"Men can be such beasts sometimes."said Phyllis' slightly worried that she must now educate Arthur in the finer points of communing with nature and wondering if he will think less of her when she is forced to reveal that trees can talk. 

Tales Of The Wild Wild West.

In the year eighteen fifty three a massive influx of clerical workers from Europe lead to a shortage of pencils and spawned the worlds first great pencil rush. Pencil fever swept the Wild West and men abandoned their gold mines and ranches to cash in.  The price of pencils soared to over twenty five cents a pound and agents from the East were willing to pay up front leading to cunning pencil men  ( known colloquially as "pencil Dicks") slyly producing heavier and heavier pencils. 

Things came to a head in eighteen fifty four when Gadfly& Guttersnipe, the largest stationer in New York City, Paid $35,000,000 for four hundred thousand tons of pencils and received a single four hundred thousand ton pencil made from a large sequoia.

Modern Work Practices Originate During The American Civil War

That evening life in the camp was a joy to behold. Men who had previously been bitter enemies laughed and and relaxed  together like the closest of friends. All in all, it was collectively agreed, casual friday was a resounding success!

Revenge Is A Little Too Sweat.

Lucinda was very upset at Eric's continued infidelities though tonight the  feelings of excitement and  shear joy at his imminent return were a little hard to contain.