In The Age Of Chivalry

 ‎"Oh my God! It's Galahad and he's killed Sir Frederick!" thought Gertrude horrified. "Hasn't he seen 'likes bondage' on my blogger profile?" 


Painting by Sir Frank Dicksee 1885 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Dicksee

Jane Austin's Emma Out Takes

'I lay it down as a general rule,"  Emma had said to Harriet some months previously," that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "Yes," she ought to say "No" directly.'"

 She was most sure of this  at the time and definitely had no intentions towards Mr Knightly whom she considered a total dork. How was she to know then the intense erotic pleasure of the Knightly anal probe and the delightful ecstasy when he dubbed her the very pinnacle of probing delight.

"I've probed more than a thousand girls on this planet and never has woman's a rectum captivated me so!" said Knightly, unperturbed that his friends where heading back to the home galaxy without him.

High On Cherub Spray

"I want those f'ing cherubs gone before Joe gets home!" said Mary thinking this was the guy from the exterminator's, "And what is that stuff you're on? Is it poisonous? ARE YOU HIGH?" 
"You shall conceive a son!" said Gabriel from his cloud, "And you shall call him Jesus!"
"Oh right! And what's Joe going to think about this? You do know he's impotent? If you want to help out, just spray the f'ing cherubs and give Joe a hard on!"
"And another thing,"said Gabriel,"this isn't Cherub spray. It's a cloud. It gets me much higher than this!"

Grant Hayes Uncommon History

Vernon Leadbeater's patented ABDOMINA Sole Stitcher (ASS). Leadbeater's ingenuity turned gastro-intestinal infection to good use, harnessing gut spasms to power a loom that could stitch as many as 40 boot soles per hour. The key component of the device was an antimony disc charged with heptic orthophranes. The military applications of the ABDOMINA were clearly evident, but a lucrative contract with the US Army was compromised when the Bolivian plantation whence Leadbeater sourced his orthophranes was destroyed in the Guano War (1879-83). Leadbeater was unable to obtain orthophranes of the required purity from elsewhere, and his army contract foundered amid a storm of recrimination. Leadbeater died a year later, a broken man in Hoboken NJ. 

(by the one and only Grant Hayes)

Way Ahead of Their Time The Mowhawks Create the USB

"Is this the USA?" said the Pilgrim fathers, "We're here to found a colony."
"The USA?" replied Squanto "Isn't that next to the USB?"

Grant Hayes On Ancient China

    Tathagata Buddha, the Farter Buddha, said: "With our farts we make the world!" Pictured is an excerpt from the classic Wi-Pu-Bang (Dung Dynasty). Here we see Bum Wind masters demonstrating Rat-Fart, Dead-Tree-Fart, and the very rarely attained Old-Man-Fart.

It is said of the Bum Wind master Pu-Wei that with only five grains of rice for fuel, he could fart out a seven-tiered iron pagoda. In the time it took for the shrine-bell to toll once and fade to silence, Master Pu-Wei would then emit the shapeless Dragon-Fart, which would sweep away the pagoda in an instant, leaving only five grains of rice. In this way, Pu-Wei showed that all things are a passing wind...

Excellent caption from Grant Hayes

Meanwhile, At The Vatican

Maria had never been so totally embarrassed. An angry young woman was shooing her away and calling her a "grotesque nude midget," and another woman  was appealing to the almighty to strike her down dead! Moreover,  when Antonio had dared her to go streaking with him at the Pope's benediction she wasn't expecting he would jump over a wall! This really wasn't fun at all!
(Detail from Raphael's fresco 'fire in the Borgo')