Johnno Wins As A Sexual Athlete

Dear Davo, Wazza & Stink,
          1960 rocks man! The chicks have all just discovered the pill and are all hot to trot. Aids hasn't happened yet and the blokes here are already shagged out so since you guys sent me the viagra they think I'm some kind of God or something. They don't even care that I have a face like a horse's arse and fart like jumbo jet taking off every few minutes (lol)!
 Thanks for sending the fishbowl hats, the three-d glasses, and the crazy outfits. The girls all think the future is totally zany and funky and they believe all my bullshit about flying cars and holidays on mars.
Stink, I know it was your genius that turned your old refrigerator into a time machine but I was the only one with the guts to actually try it so suck eggs dude. I don't want any of you here until that nasty rash you all caught from that foreign chick clears up anyway though I could use reinforcements . I'm sending this through the portal so you'll find it in your fridge next time you go for a beer.
Your mate
Johnno
p.s. if you see Shirly and she's freaking out don't worry because I'll come back before I actually left when I start to miss the internet.