What Really Happened on the Road to Damascus.

"Pull my finger!" said Jesus from his cloud on high. With trepidation Saul rode forward and pulled only to be nearly knocked from his mount as Jesus farted out an entire new religion. Saul was so embarrassed he changed his name to Paul and stopped hanging out with his Pharisee mates. To this very day, when some one says "pull my finger" people run for cover.

Humor from Saint Augustine

"I've just flown in from L.A.," Said Saint Augustine, "and boy, are my arms tired!" 
"L.A?" said Rastas
"Where?" asked Cirus of a nearby dying man.
Clearly, when it came to humor, the good saint was ahead of his time.

Cupid Spits The Dummy

For cupid it was one of those light bulb moments. He was a teenager now and he'd had enough.  Stalking young couples in flagrante delicto and firing his arrows into their upturned bare arses was giving him a permanent and painful erection that was so bad he'd complained to the big guy himself who gave him a crappy old blue towel to drape over it for modesties sake, and a flippant "get over it" to fob him off. Moreover, when he finally found a hot young maiden and shot an arrow into her arse for himself, instead of falling in love with him, she'd taken one look at his protruding tumescence, and run shrieking to the local constabulary. He now had a restraining order against him and was subpoenaed to appear in court to answer to 'malicious wounding'. No! If God wanted love he could do the hard work himself! The light bulb in his mind exploded with magnificent retort, he snapped his bow a twain, and dropped his arrows into a convenient dumpster.

Relaxing With The Family After Conquering The Barbarian Hordes

Strip twister was a popular pastime in Ancient Rome. The whole family could play, even the cherub and the horses!  

Young Andrew Gets A Rare Case Of Take Away Leg

"Look on the bright side son! The other day I had a boy with cheeseburger testicles. He couldn't wear pants and the girls at school kept taking bites out of them. You're much luckier, and more nutritious!" 

Bits They Left out of The Bible

"Never wash your whites with your colors! " said Jesus to his flock with an air of revelation.

Jesus Spends Some Quality Time With His Dad

"Hey Dad," said Jesus,"Do you think I should put these farting noises in the sermon on the mount?"