Child Rearing Tips From the Nineteen Fifties.

"I brought the kids some Valium." 

Batman Learns the Horrible Truth

"Holy poo punchers Darth! So how long did you say Robin and Skywalker have been seeing each other?!" 
from an idea from my friend Jim Parks

Penguin Flim Flam

‎"Welcome to Hawaii. The People of Hawaii would like to share their islands with you! The fresh, floral air energises you. The warm, tranquil waters refresh you. The breathtaking, natural beauty renews you. Look around. There’s no place on earth like Hawaii. Whether you're a new visitor or returning, our six unique islands offer distinct experiences that will entice any traveller. We warmly invite you to explore our islands and discover your ideal travel experience." Said Pip, desperately trying to convince the mob they hadn't been ripped off.

Brilliance From My Friend Aluminum Foil Hat

 ‎"Am I the catch of the day?" How droll your little pick-up lines are, madam ..."

http://aluminumfoilhatsociety.com/

Gerald's Birthday Present Fail

"What am I supposed to do with this? Even with all your Morman mates I'll never get it through the front door!"

Not to be Missed! The United Arab Emirates' New Production of HMAS Pinafore

"Oh we sail the deep blue sea,
and our saucy ship's a beauty..."

Womens Minds

 "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how women's minds work!"