Improper Waste Disposal In Ancient Rome

"Oh my god Drusilla! I'm very disappointed in you! The dog is out there choking on your Tampax. Didn't you read the packet? It says  "dispose of properly" not,  "throw at an annoying puppy." I'll ring the vet. You get out there now and see what you can do."

Nostradamus Of Ancient Rome

 ‎"... and one day, they won't all gather to tell stories like we do. Instead, they'll stay in their homes and stare at a strange box for hours on end." 

Oscar And The Screen Door By Gratuitous Violet

After the first time Oscar jumped through the screen

door, Helga knew he would continue to be a problem.

Little did she know he would lick at his stitches until he

required the dreaded cone of humiliation. Gag ball not

included.

http://gratuitousviolet.blogspot.com/

Fans of Newt Gingrich

"It's cup a soup ladies. Do you like it? It's

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,

Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,

Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,

Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--

For a charm of powerful trouble,


Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."


flavor. They're selling it to raise funds for Newt Gingrich. I met him at a swinger's party once. Such a lovely man. I sure caught his eye though I didn't make soup out of it. As I remember, I  inserted a carrot."

Early Feminists

"Now ladies. it's important as women that we reclaim our bodies which have forever been the property of the evil patriarchy. You'll find a small mirror on the table in front of you. Open your legs girls! We'll go down together! We'll sort out which witch is witch!"

Flip's Really Excellent Version.

"I am so tired of Fran serving cat with every tea. How about

some cucumber sandwiches or petit four?"

http://hillblocksview.blogspot.com/2012/01/perhaps-i-shouldnt-self-medicate-out-of.html 

Gossip

"...and .... would you believe it Ethyl?.... She makes poor Godfrey sleep in the wet patch!"