This Didn't Happen

"The damned choir boy seduced me!" said Cardinal O'Hara desperately when Mother Superior entered without knocking. "God help us Mable! Do you really think a respected man of the cloth would debase himself in such a demeaning manner willingly? The boy has the devil in him. Get a grip Mable. You're dismissed. This never happened." 
"Woof, woof!" Said Mother Superior, leaving the room with a wry smile.

Cheryl Of Ancient Rome

Gerald was quite ok with it when Cheryl invited him to have a three way, but when she invited the entire legion that was another thing entirely! 

Cats Get 'Organized'.

"Right! We've had a stop work meeting and we've all decided we hate canned food. Now,  the crazy cat lady here has offered us fresh steak every day so we want fresh steak and a fluffy mouse toy each or we're off." 

Strange Modes Of Transport From The Distant Past.

A novel means of transport during the 19th century was the 'Erection Express'. With these enterprising young fellows one could travel up to ten miles for as little as a penny. Their powers of protrusion were simply astounding! No need of Viagra for these young scalawags! 

Victorian High Flyers

"They're lots of fun but we have to be frightfully careful we close all the windows when we have them over. Last month I was out walking Mr Harrison on the High Street when a beastly gust of wind roared up and broke the string. They found him in Alaska poor chap..."  

At The London World Exposition, 1851

The anti gravity pavilion at the London World Exposition of 1851.

Martha And Reginald's "Problem"

It was no wonder Martha couldn't fall pregnant. Reginald's sperm were clearly oversized!