Goat Accused Of Armed Robbery

  This clipping was sent to me by a friend  regarding an incident that happened in 2009 but I'm afraid it raises more questions than it answers. Why would a man who can turn into a goat need to steal a car in the first place? Surely the amount of money to be made from performing this trick would be way in excess of that required to buy a Mazda 323.  As far as I know they stopped making these in 1994. If I could do this I'd steal a Ferrari or something flash.
   How do they know the man turned into a goat? The other way round makes more sense as an animal changing from one form to another is more likely to want to trade up the evolutionary tree rather than down. Becoming a man is a great thing it's just a shame it turned into such a poorly behaved one, but then, how could a man who was a goat most of his life, be expected to know how to behave?  So the poor goat finally works out how to turn into a man only to unknowingly commit crime such that he has to turn back quick smart to evade the long arm of the law? Perhaps we need to teach all goats basic social skills just in case.
    None the less, if this was a man who turned into a goat as the article suggests, then a goat was a really poor choice. Surely a lion would be better, or an eagle, or something really cool like a velociraptor, or a pterodactyl! Fly away and be done with it, but a goat is bullshit. Sorry mate. Not only did you fail to steal the car you turned into something way too ordinary. Back to wizard school for you!

Dress To Get Out Of Jury Duty

           
                                          Brian and Mavis devise a cunning  scheme for avoiding jury duty.
                                          They're sent home for being "just too weird."         
                                                     

Police Log

IMG_0003 | photo page - everystockphoto

IMG_0003 | photo page - everystockphoto

Thomas Edison

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" Thomas Edison

People That Change Colour

                                           http://www.everystockphoto.com/

  I was watching QI last night and apparently Siamese cats change colour if you put them in the fridge. This is cruel so please don’t try this. You start out with a light coloured cat with black extremities and you end up with an all black cat. They had pictures and said that this is its natural response to cold, which it shares with Himalayan rabbits. The extremities are already black because they are its coldest bits. It turns back after a while as it warms up.

  

   I saw this and thought wouldn’t it be cool if they could find the gene for this and insert it into humans.  We could be white with black ears, and hands, and faces, and willies, in the summer and all black in the winter. I wonder though, would this end racism or would this just piss off black people because they’d think we’re stealing their gig, or “taking the piss”?

   This is an interesting point so please, if you’re black and reading this please leave a comment. Would you be OK with it if we found a gene for you so you could be white in the winter? That might mean you had white ears, and hands, and feet, and faces, and willies in the summer which would be quite funky don’t you think? I’m pretty sure when the white people turned black they still wouldn’t be able to dance, or jump, or talk that strange street language you guys have, so I wouldn’t worry about that. 


     Also, if you're worried that you might be sucked in by a person masquerading as another race, all you would need is a hairdryer to find the truth of the matter. 


    I wonder if you warm up a siamese cat's tail with a hairdryer, does it turn white?

Eating Underpants