Welcome Earthlings and Others

Welcome to my blog. The text on this blog is original so please don't borrow it without asking me or adding an acknowledgement as to the source. Please, please, please, click the share buttons on anything as often as you like. Please, please, please leave a comment or become a follower. If you can think of an alternative caption leave it as a comment and, if I like it enough, I'll post it with a backlink to your blog. Enjoy.


Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Abandoned By A Woman Scorned


"It rained and it's rusted together" said Gawain a little flustered. "I can't move.Take my horse and go get some WD 40 and my angle grinder."
"Enough of  your excuses!" replied Gwendoline,"Do you really think I don't know why your 'Cedric' won't stand to attention? I've seen you with that pansy squire of yours. Let him save you. What kind of man wears armor to a seduction anyway. Thanks for the horse." 
Painting by Sir Frank Dicksee http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Dicksee

Monday, 12 March 2012

Problem Solved


St George made swift work of his new mother-in-law.
Painting by Paolo Ucello

The Wit Of Jennifer Mary Williams


".... and God...... Will you hurry up with the cat food?" 

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Everyday Sayings That Originated In The Bible


"What's the matter Daniel?" said almighty God, "Cat got your tongue?

In The Age Of Chivalry


 ‎"Oh my God! It's Galahad and he's killed Sir Frederick!" thought Gertrude horrified. "Hasn't he seen 'likes bondage' on my blogger profile?" 


Painting by Sir Frank Dicksee 1885 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Dicksee

Friday, 9 March 2012

Jane Austin's Emma Out Takes


'I lay it down as a general rule,"  Emma had said to Harriet some months previously," that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "Yes," she ought to say "No" directly.'"
 She was most sure of this  at the time and definitely had no intentions towards Mr Knightly whom she considered a total dork. How was she to know then the intense erotic pleasure of the Knightly anal probe and the delightful ecstasy when he dubbed her the very pinnacle of probing delight.
"I've probed more than a thousand girls on this planet and never has woman's a rectum captivated me so!" said Knightly, unperturbed that his friends where heading back to the home galaxy without him.

Monday, 5 March 2012

High On Cherub Spray


"I want those f'ing cherubs gone before Joe gets home!" said Mary thinking this was the guy from the exterminator's, "And what is that stuff you're on? Is it poisonous? ARE YOU HIGH?" 
"You shall conceive a son!" said Gabriel from his cloud, "And you shall call him Jesus!"
"Oh right! And what's Joe going to think about this? You do know he's impotent? If you want to help out, just spray the f'ing cherubs and give Joe a hard on!"
"And another thing,"said Gabriel,"this isn't Cherub spray. It's a cloud. It gets me much higher than this!"

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...