Welcome Earthlings and Others
Welcome to my blog. The text on this blog is original so please don't borrow it without asking me or adding an acknowledgement as to the source. Please, please, please, click the share buttons on anything as often as you like. Please, please, please leave a comment or become a follower. If you can think of an alternative caption leave it as a comment and, if I like it enough, I'll post it with a backlink to your blog. Enjoy.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Since we installed larger doors the local elephants have become some of our most regular customers.
One of the elephants wouldn't pay so....
.....we threw him out of a train.
We had to use a train because he wouldn't fit in the car....
....or the bus. BUT....
....We didn't know he was a friend of Batman's.
We thought Batman would be really mad but he wasn't. He said the elephant should pay like everyone else. Throwing him out of a train was a bit much though. We should have called the police. Batman liked our coffee and became our best ever customer!
Friday, 9 December 2011
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
| A mole near Virginia's snatch,|
became bigger, the more she would scratch.
It swelled and grew teeth
with large paws underneath
now she eats everyone she can catch.
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
"Father! We must kill him! He and the skinny guy read this and refused to become followers! They won't even leave comments or share my posts on twitter and facebook"
The A1300 proctologist's plastic fantastic practice bum with dish washer proof rectum comes with an iphone app which gives a print out of penetration excellence and is available in 9 colors and three different genders.
"They each have their own." he wept. "They can take them home, they don't have to worry about sick pay and, I'm told, it makes quite an attractive vase."
I attempted to console him without much success.
"I was always clean but plastic practice bums you have to wear gloves with, who knows why? " more sobbing, "I did fart occasionally though.....Do you think I farted too often?"
I said I didn't think so and suggested he could work as a living vase. It would be a real talking point at parties.
Monday, 5 December 2011
Sunday, 4 December 2011
"I'm telling you. Go to greg-scott.blogspot.com and become a follower. Greg's a great guy and his site's hilarious. He won't care that you're the Tsar of Russia. You'll laugh so much you won't feel like doing all that tyrannical shit any more. The internet's the way of the future. Just go for it dude!"
"I'm not looking forward to going back there. My ex is still there and she told everyone I gave her herpes..... oh crap! Did I tell you about that? When we get there you should get yourself checked. Sorry if I forgot to mention it."