Jane Austin's Emma Out Takes

'I lay it down as a general rule,"  Emma had said to Harriet some months previously," that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "Yes," she ought to say "No" directly.'"

 She was most sure of this  at the time and definitely had no intentions towards Mr Knightly whom she considered a total dork. How was she to know then the intense erotic pleasure of the Knightly anal probe and the delightful ecstasy when he dubbed her the very pinnacle of probing delight.

"I've probed more than a thousand girls on this planet and never has woman's a rectum captivated me so!" said Knightly, unperturbed that his friends where heading back to the home galaxy without him.

More Saucy Jane Austen Out Takes.

For a "man of the cloth" Mr Elton's mind was a total sewer! Often, on a sunday during the torturous endurance test of the Archbishop's sermons, he would picture himself, naked and clutching desperately to the naked and writhing body of none other than the heroine of our tale, the, ever wondrous and forever pure, Miss Emma Woodhouse, her naked body effectively protecting him from, the desperate cries of some dozen naked virgins, all screaming to be entered by the vicar's engorged tumescence. The vision was a disturbing at best, doublingly so as God must be watching and would doubtless make Elton pay on the day of judgement when all must come clean. To carelessly come even slightly during the archbishop's diatribe on the sermon on the mount  was in no way appropriate and was to be resisted at any cost! Oh the perils of  house keeping a pure mind! The more he struggled to keep it clean the more the images imposed themselves.

Jane Austen Out takes 3

Content in the belief that she had saved Harriet from a life of drudgery as the wife of the farmer, Mr. Martin , Emma drifted into a blissful and contented sleep. Harriet could barely contain a wry smile as she pretended to read while Mr Martin, hidden beneath her voluminous skirts, pleasured her love button with the skillful tongue acquired through a lifetime spent in animal husbandry. Unbeknownst to both Harriet and Martin was the preacher, Mr Knightly who, under Emma's voluminous skirts and having not the slightest clue as to the delights of the female anatomy, was paralytically and silently praying for any help he could get.

(Jane's editor thought this a bit uncalled for)

Jane Austen Out Takes

Jane's editor decided to cut this bit.