Flip on the Moon

Jan hated holiday shopping, she always had to park SO far away from the mall.  http://hillblocksview.blogspot.com/

Dr Finklestien's Strange Acrophobia Cure

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Herbert was dressed like a fly, and thinking like a fly, and was even finding himself strangely attracted to human faeces, but there was no way he could bring himself to jump. 
"You must assume the very mind and habits of the fly." The good Doctor had repeatedly implored, "Have you ever seen a fly that is scared of heights?" 
"Well....." Thought Herbert. "There's always a first...."
His fear was desperately debilitating. How on earth was he to have conjugal relations with the delightful Geraldine if he was unable to climb up to the bed, and what would she be thinking? That he was actually afraid of the succulent fullness of her naked form? It was either jump now or remain a virgin forever!

Real Proof At Last

 This proves it! This photo is conclusive evidence that Photoshop really works.... 
(from my friend Martin Buckingham)

A Spoiled Picnic

Sadly,
Grandma was never going to approve of Harold's intimate liaisons. 

Unkind Encounters

"OMG! YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUTA ME," said Phillis, scattering cards far and wide, "And must you play that wretched horn night and day? These earplugs I must wear are most unbecoming!"
"Forgive me my child," said Chopin's ghost patting Phillis on the back by way of reassurance.
"Grandma says if your so damn horny you probably want my pussy, so here it is!"
"Alas my child, t'was pussy of another kind that led me down this tormented path," came the remorseful tone, "The pussy of a girl called George......What kind of benevolent God condemns a musician of my exalted esteem, to haunt the cold and musty halls of eternity with nothing but a mournful honker as a friend? If you want to help, please, please, PLEASE buy me a piano!"
"GET STUFFED!" replied Phillis, perhaps unwisely.

Simon Whittaker's Effort

 They say the biggest danger in a car is "the nut behind the wheel", in this case it happened to be 2 nuts AND an arsehole.