The A1300 proctologist's plastic fantastic practice bum with dish washer proof rectum comes with an iphone app which gives a print out of penetration excellence and is available in 9 colors and three different genders.
"They each have their own." he wept. "They can take them home, they don't have to worry about sick pay and, I'm told, it makes quite an attractive vase."
I attempted to console him without much success.
"I was always clean but plastic practice bums you have to wear gloves with, who knows why? " more sobbing, "I did fart occasionally though.....Do you think I farted too often?"
I said I didn't think so and suggested he could work as a living vase. It would be a real talking point at parties.