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Sunday, 13 November 2011

More Saucy Jane Austen Out Takes.

For a "man of the cloth" Mr Elton's mind was a total sewer! Often, on a sunday during the torturous endurance test of the Archbishop's sermons, he would picture himself, naked and clutching desperately to the naked and writhing body of none other than the heroine of our tale, the, ever wondrous and forever pure, Miss Emma Woodhouse, her naked body effectively protecting him from, the desperate cries of some dozen naked virgins, all screaming to be entered by the vicar's engorged tumescence. The vision was a disturbing at best, doublingly so as God must be watching and would doubtless make Elton pay on the day of judgement when all must come clean. To carelessly come even slightly during the archbishop's diatribe on the sermon on the mount  was in no way appropriate and was to be resisted at any cost! Oh the perils of  house keeping a pure mind! The more he struggled to keep it clean the more the images imposed themselves.


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