A Reason For Everything

"How does he do it?" exclaimed Herod Antipas
"Witchcraft!" added  Pontius Pilate,
"The dark arts!" Added  Caiaphas.
"Relax guys!" Replied Jesus quite willing to convert the entire  world, "It's no secret. I don't wash my whites with my colors!"
"Ah ha! Magic then, and discriminatory magic at that!" yelled Herod triumphant, "It's crucifixion  for you then my lad!"
And that, boys and girls, is why the colored people had to sit at the back of the bus.

More Everyday Sayings That Originated In The Bible

"It's Murphy's law," said Jesus to the blind man as he felt something crunch under foot, "You drop a contact lens and some sod always steps on it. Looks like it's going to be a long time no see for you my man!" 

Restaurant Fail In The Olden Days

"I'm sorry," said Maria, "I didn't order this. I ordered the Boeuf Bourguignon, slow cooked in red wine and broth, and served with sauteed mushrooms and perl onions."

Inspiration From My Friend Aluminum Foil Hat

"What's wrong?" said Gwendolyn in surprise.
"It's this armor." squealed Gawain like a rat under a truck tyre."It's so tight  I can't move! It locks up and my arms stick out like this when I get an erection."
"So much for the Atkins diet" replied Gwendolyn with a touch of sarcasm.
 An idea from my friend Aluminum Foil Hat http://aluminumfoilhatsociety.com/

A Limerick From Susan Tarlitz

There once was a knight known as Rusty,

He squeaked when he moved and was musty.

"Oh Lord, thou doth stink"..

Screamed the Lady in pink,

And she fled on the horse she named Dusty. 

Dear God by my friend Violet

Dear God,
Bless Leo and Tabby and Tom and BooBoo and Geraldine. Keep them healthy and purring ... but please please help them get housebroken reallly soon. It smells like a zoo over here!
And may I pleeeeeeaaasssseeee get a pony for my birthday? 


by my friend Violet http://revolveevolve.blogspot.com.au/

painting by Rubens

Gawain Loses His Horse

F**k off fancypants!"